DREAM WHEEL 6B

And to the Dreamers-

If and when you reply to the questions, do so only to clarify the dream. Try to avoid interpretations at this point. If it is not clear from the dream how to answer a question, simply say it was not clear.

Usually the dreamer waits until several members' questions have been mailed to the group to begin answering.

IV--QUESTIONS SENT FROM ALL IN GROUP

Although the questions are directed to the dreamer, they are sent to the whole mail list.

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Thanks for your questions, "D" I'll try to answer them as best as I can.
1 You were in Texas, but could you describe the scene in more detail? Were you inside or outside - on the road ..ect?

No, I cannot describe the scene in much more detail. My impression is an interstate highway is close by; I say, Texas, because I had a sense of vast terrain, plus that's where Monica lives.

2. Was the presentation in the class *about* the shadow box?

About the shadow box? Apparently so. Or what was inside it. Not one word to do with the presentation, not even a title, was a part of the dream.
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----- Hello, "I". Thanks for your questions. Actually I made two associations I would not have made otherwise.

1. What does the audience look like? What type of people are they and how do they respond to you?

A small audience, a couple of hundred, in open (not enclosed) space. My best word for the audience would be "impassive."

2. Do you have any idea (during the dream) where the shadowbox comes from?

I do believe that it was something I had been working on, but in the dream, it felt like it just magically appeared. My two associations, though, just now -- 1) Plato's cave; 2) my grandfather, perched in front of the boob tube, arms flailing excitedly, every Sunday afternoon like clockwork, as he watches boxing matches...he died years ago, though
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Hello, "T". Thank you for your questions (especially the one about the difference between the two hearts).

l. Is Monica a long- time friend? At what time in life did you meet? Childhood,etc.?
I met Monica when she was an adolescent and I was a stage actress in a semi-rep theater, 20 years ago. I had become involved with a close friend of hers, only to learn through her (she was unaware of the my involvement with this man) that she was in the horns of a dilemma. This much older man, who not only was a close friend of hers, but also befriended for years by her parents, was doing his best to get her in bed, and she was a virgin. Essentially, it was child abuse (and I was a child-abuse social worker at the time). So as she told me of her plight, I had to immediately sort out/through my feelings: first, about this man; secondly, about how to discuss the situation with her without breaking her heart; and thirdly, how to do so leaving my immediately broken heart out of the situation. It was that event that was the prelude to a long term friendship.

2. Do you have any idea of what the topic of your presentation was to be?

No.

3. What is the difference for you between presenting with a "47-year-old heart" and a "7-year-old heart"?

All the difference in the world. The 7-year-old is filled with the joy, the excitement, the ecstasy, of sharing what she knows of the universe with others. The 47-year-old, whose heart was broken so many times before, romantically and otherwise, still (she sometimes thinks) wants to share -- but just what is it, exactly?

4. Were there any colors in the universe display, or just dark and light contrasts?

No colors. Just a flash that the universe was there. -----

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Thanks, "L". I had just answered (and sent off responses to the other questions when yours popped up):

(1) What is your association with Texas?

Visited once, more than 20 years ago. What stands out (very vaguely) in memory is 1) taking a walk along a beautiful riverwalk in -- I want to say, San Antonio, but I'm not sure, with an ex-husband (20 years divorced). 2) It was so hot that an evening dress I wore to some military function literally stuck to the plastic car seats as I dripped in sweat, feeling as if my skin was coming off. Funny, but I don't recall the event at all. 3) Seeing the city from a revolving restaurant and being in awe.

An former best friend of more than 20 years moved to Texas from Georgia following a break (1988) in friendship and a dream she had where she saw me dead, with long white hair, pursued by black, ghostly figures.

(2) Please take another peep in the shadow box. What else can you see with one quick glimpse, or two?

I would like to say planets slowly, elegantly assuming their positions, each in turn, against a backdrop of an infinity of stars.

Again, thanks for your questions.

Island
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"B", here goes,

1. What is a sandbox. Is it a box full of sand where the kids play with toys and build sand castles etc?

Not quite so literal for me. I think of a sandbox as a sectioned off space that has nothing inside. It is the thing left behind, or abandoned, or fallen into disuse.

2. What is a shadowbox?

Again, 2) a box with borders to be used to display some imaginative creation; 3) the usual meaning: to spar with an imaginary opponent, but more narrowly, unauthentic communication; 4) see previous response

3. Did the toys in the sandbox make you think of the planets and stars?

There were no toys.

4. What is your difference between a 47 year old heart and a 7 year old heart?

"T" also asked that question and it's a good one (see previous response)

5. Clarify what you mean by 'wormed'? It is quite a descriptive word.

In this specific instance, to feign allegiance where none exists.

6. What specifically made you cry? Thinking about Monica and the way she reacted; the 47 year old vs 7 year old heart; the stress of the unprepared presentation; or just everything, nothing specific.

The difference between the sand/shadow box and the universe; the difference between my old/young heart; the difference between old ideals that I have read about historically (loyalty; honor; nobility; integrity) but rarely experience presently, either in others or myself. Loss. -----

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Hello "S":

Thank you for your questions. I hope I'm not redundant with my answers. (This is a fascinating process, I must say. I had no idea that I could glean as much as I have out of it thus far).

1. Do you remember anything about the weather (i.e.. hot, cold)?

Unremarkable; but clear

2. Did you and Monica speak much before she 'wormed' out of getting together, and if so can you recall what you spoke of?

No, and that's the strange thing since it's been a long while since we've actually spoken or gotten together. The main feature is surprise that we had quite by accident met on her turf, so to speak, since I have never visited her in Texas, and she has visited me several times in New York. But I did have an awareness in the dream that her interest in this man was all absorbing; something she must have communicated to me. Another strange thing is that in 20 years I have only known Monica to be involved with three men, and she's generally been unattached. Knowing Monica as I think I do, I cannot even fathom her being so absorbed by a man that she would/could have acted this "wormy" way. Monica is more like a sister than a friend. Hard to explain. She's a bit more straightforward, clear thinking and honest. Very pure. Like a child.

3. Where is this class (a university, an old elementary school, other familiar places)?

Not at all a University, school, or familiar setting, but my sense is of a broad audience of varying interests. I'm not even sure why they were even there. I must admit that their features were nondescript; it was almost as if I couldn't see a distinctive feature. And too, there weren't the usual boundaries (walls, etc.).

4. Describe your feelings as you stood before the class to give this presentation.

Mainly, how did I get here? Why am I here? Am I prepared? Why am before a body of people?

Mainly, again, surprise, confusion, feeling at a loss, wanting to, however, live up to my role? Function? Since I'm there. Might as well. Don't get the point. More like politics, which I loathe. What could I possibly say, or do, that would leave any lasting impression? Why should I want to leave a lasting impression, except that memories are all that we will ever possess, and to give a gift of oneself is to increase another's storehouse, including your own. But before an audience? Maybe one on one, perhaps. Where's the dynamic reciprocity? Is there really any real and dynamic interchange between audience member and speaker? Then I answer my own question with, yes, there is. Remember Professor Rosenthal? Or Professor Raymo? Aren't they both unforgettable? Yes. Yes. Why so? Because there they were -- they -- speaking of a multitude of things, points of information, bits and pieces from history, a poem here, a writer there, a thought, a feeling, an awareness, making the heart thirst for experience not understood -- an amalgamation of consciousness...but so rare. And do we have the time?

I would like to think I would not give a presentation, or perform, if you will, again. Though I have been before large audiences, acting, playing a violin, dancing, etc., it was always a rigorously planned event. It either went nearly perfectly (didn't miss a step, drop a word) or it didn't go at all. The two times I most vividly recall where it didn't go as planned, I've never understood today why I reacted as I did. Once, I was playing a violin before a group of people at age 12. In the middle of the piece, I stopped and stared. I never put my bow back to the string as a solo artist before a group again. Another time, I am in college and to give a speech. Just a minute or two into the speech, and I stopped talking. The professor must have coaxed me to continue for the next half hour, but that was it. When I had a lapse of memory, and stood there in a fog, the fog just never lifted. A third time, I'm reading a poem rather beautifully to a rather hostile group who treated me almost with disdain: as if to say, why are you here and reading? We had all been reading around the circle, so I didn't get the point to their reaction. I'm really an inward person by nature, and I find, unless I really have a point for being in there in the first place, there's really no point to it. 4) A fourth time, when the breakdown of my mouth was being used to teach a class of postgraduate dentists: an unforgettable experience, to say the least, since my mouth (X-rays, and the like) was the focus of attention for a year or more. At this juncture in my life, I would be just about the last person to be before an audience presenting anything but poems aloud, something I've been doing more of this last year.

5. Can you clarify about the sandbox/shadow box--Could you see the smaller sections that may have been present if it were a shadow box, and if so, were there different things (perhaps even universes) within the various compartments?

No; oddly, there were no compartments within, which is why sandbox comes into play. But my impression of the planets slowly forming, like circles within a square, deepens. And as I look within the sand/shadowbox, I see three dimensions, not two. Really a vastness, and within that vastness, each planet moves out of the vastness forward closer and closer to the forefront: as if presenting itself -- the planet introducing itself, as it were, rather elegantly -- as if it were communicating but without language. It's not the objects in a box I see, for these are static. The movement inside the box that I could hold up comfortably with my two hands was dynamic, having a life of its own.

6. Have all our questions brought out any additional information about that confusing transition period between the first and second part of the dream?

No. Except to say that since you have phrased it that way, I must say that an interaction like that with Monica is very like events that characterized events from my past, even as recent as a year ago. That is not the case now, nor do I expect it will be the case in the future. And there has been a rather lengthy transition period between those times and these.

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